Angel of Mine
by EXPLODINGWEWILLGO
Summary: You hate him. You can't help but hate him. After all...he was your reason.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a small few chapter story I had the idea of. It's nothing major. It could only have like 5 chapters. I don't want it to be all that long :p**

**I own nothiiing! But...! The current character you know for now as Ziel! And I barely even own him...because I got the idea for the name and his basis elsewhere. And his companion in this story. So...I really don't own anything but the plot XD**

**Review please!**

* * *

You hate him. You can't help but him. After all…he was your reason for everything. Your reason for being, your reason for madness,…you're reason for being all by yourself.

You met him a very long time ago. You were still young and by certain terms he was almost middle aged, but he looked as old as you were.

He blinked at you, with his wavy curling pale violet hair and his bright blue/grey eyes. You blinked back, startled by his out of place appearance in the street before you.

* * *

You'd been walking, going to the library, returning a book. Going along the market street of your city. Your old home. He walked by with some other male with brown hair that stuck up in a shocked sort of way with a small tail at the back and a silly looking cowlick.

You hadn't been paying attention and accidentally bumped into him. He grabbed your shoulders so you wouldn't fall when you began to wobble backwards. He blinked at you. You blinked back and he smiled, kindly and warmly.

You remember the blush that heated your face as you jumped back and continued to say that you were fine and you were sorry. You remember his laugh, how it made you smile.

"No worries. I just hope you're actually okay and not lying to me." He'd said.

You stumbled out more apologies. He'd waved them off, spotting the book in your hands.

"How bout I go with you?" He smiled, stepping aside and motioning towards the library. You don't know why but you accepted. He turned to his companion that was giving him a worried look. He told him he'd see him later.

The other man had sighed and shook his head. Mumbling a negative comment and walking away.

"So what's your name?" He'd asked. He kept a polite distance as if he knew you were awkward around strangers. You look up at him, finally actually noticing his height. You yourself were always quite tall, but he stretched a few inches above you.

"Medusa." You didn't wanna tell him your last name, and he didn't push to know.

"Medusa huh?" He smiled, it didn't make him seem weird or crazy. But even nicer than you'd first thought. "I'll call you Meh-Meh."

You blush again, feeling silly that a stranger can make you feel like a silly teenage girl again. But after all,…you are still innocent then.

You ask him for his name. He smiles more and rubs the back of his neck. "I'm not allowed to tell you my real name. So,…for now…you can call me Ziel."

He stops, you take an extra step and blush more when you realize you were paying so much attention to him you hadn't noticed you'd reached your destination.

"I'll see you around Meh-Meh." He'd grinned.

You smile and nod, paying somewhere inside your soul that it's tomorrow and you can learn more about him.

He waves to you and runs back the way you'd came. You wave back until he turns. You notice how cute his hair looks when he runs. You feel foolish for thinking something so childish and walk into the library.

You're barely aware of the smile on your lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a small few chapter story I had the idea of. It's nothing major. It could only have like 5 chapters. I don't want it to be all that long :p**

**I own nothiiing! But...! The current character you know for now as Ziel! And I barely even own him...because I got the idea for the name and his basis elsewhere. And his companion in this story. So...I really don't own anything but the plot XD**

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Review please!**

* * *

You're sitting under the stone roof in front of the library a few days after you met that man.

Ziel.

It's raining. You've always hated the rain.

"You okay?" Someone behind you asked curiously.

You look back and you see him. Ziel. You blush as his curious eyes fall on your face. He smiles at you. And your young mind thinks about how cute he is. You shake your head and smile back. "Yes, I'm fine thank you." You say.

He smiles wider and sits beside you. "Oh that's good. I was worried for a second."

You watch him carefully. He turns, his eyes becoming curious. His smile is smaller, but all the more inviting. "So, you came back for another book?" He tries to make casual conversation with you.

You nod and look away, curling your toes. He spots your feet. You've always hated shoes, and so far you've been lucky enough to never step on anything painful. He smiles and laughs.

"My little brother doesn't wear shoes all that much either."

You look back at him. "I almost never wear shoes. Only to formal things." You tell him quietly.

He nods. "He's the same way."

"Is it that shorter man I saw you with the other day?" You were curious to know. He made you want to learn more about him.

He laughed again, running his fingers through his hair as a means of pulling it behind his ear. You wonder how soft it is for a second. "No. He's a companion of mine. My good friend."

"Oh." You mumble and lean over your knees to stare at your feet and the growing puddles on the streets only a few steps away.

He leaned forward with you. You look over at him. He grins. You blush and look away. Out of the corner of your eye you see him look up. "Do you not like the rain?" He asks you softly.

"No. Not really." Your gentle about your statement, because it seems as if he likes the rain and somewhere in your soul you don't want to say anything mean to him.

"You hate it don't you?" He makes it sound like a statement rather than a question. You look up at him in surprise.

"What?" You feel dumb that you sound so lost.

His head turns, at an angle and his blue/grey eyes sparkle with mirth. "In your voice. I heard it. It sounds like you hate it."

You blush and frown because he's found you out. You think he'll be upset. And even though you hardly know him you're scared he won't want to talk to you anymore.

He'd chuckled and grinned. "You shouldn't hate the rain. After all it's just water right? Most of your body is made of it. You wash with it." He pointed outward and you follow his hand with your curious eyes. "It's how we get plants that help the world breathe." He laughed and scratched his head then, you smile at the blush on his cheeks. "Though if that is your opinion I suppose I shouldn't try and change it.

You look out to the pouring droplets of water that splatter the dirt and turn it to mud and make everything turn a darker shade of color. You'd never thought of it as a source of energy and life. You'd only ever thought of it as an unwelcome source of getting soaking wet.

He stands and offers his hand to you. You know he's still a stranger, but you reach out and take his hand, first pressing your fingers into his palm, because in some corner of your mind you're thinking he's to good to be true. He smiles wider and gently slips his open palm down and gently takes your wrist, as if he knew what your line of thought was.

And maybe he had.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a small few chapter story I had the idea of. It's nothing major. It could only have like 5 chapters. I don't want it to be all that long :p**

**I own nothiiing! But...! The current character you know for now as Ziel! And I barely even own him...because I got the idea for the name and his basis elsewhere. And his companion in this story. So...I really don't own anything but the plot XD**

**This chapter is a bit longer than the others. I hope you like it!**

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Review please!**

* * *

You remember walking down the steps to the muddy road, holding his hand. You looked up at him. Not because you wanted to see his face but to make sure he was real.

He was far to kind to be a man. Far to wise and comforting to be a demon. Far to real to be fake. Because he's there. He was holding your hand, he was so kind and so wise and comforting and so very real.

You both stop at the last step. You can feel the gentle drizzle sprinkle your face from the off line straight downpour. You turn your golden eyes up to meet his blue/grey eyes. He's smiling softly at you.

And, still holding your hand, he steps out. He doesn't pull you along, or look at you as if he wants you to follow. He turns his back to the world and continues to smile at you. The rain colors his hair a darker shade of violet. His white shirt shapes to his body even closer than before. And you see dark swirls of black across his shoulders and running up his abdomen.

He blinks at you. Still smiling. You blink back, and you can't help the smile on you face. You think about how handsome he looks. How tragically beautiful he is in the rain.

And still,…it doesn't look like he wants you to join him. It's as if he's telling you that there's nothing to fear. Nothing to hate.

After all, how could you hate the rain when it makes such a handsome creature so beautiful?

You step to him. Looking up at his face. You let the rain take you in and all of its glories you'd never realized till this exact moment.

He turns, moving to your side. It looked to you as if he was offering the world to you. And perhaps he was, in his own way.

You take the first step this time. And he follows. It felt as if he wanted you to lead, he'd maybe just given you the means for doing so.

* * *

You stop at your house. You let go of his hand, you miss the warmth of his hand already as you step inside your doorway.

You turn back to him and he's still smiling. You had been able to tell from the look on his face that he didn't expect to be let inside. He was still a stranger.

"It was nice seeing you again Meh-Meh."

You blush at the name and nod. "It was nice seeing you again too."

He closes his eyes as he grins. "We'll meet again soon okay?"

You smile wider. "Okay." And in that pouring rain, the sound that was almost like a waterfall though of smaller gravitation, you're not even sure he hears you. But when he opens his eyes you're sure he did.

He waves as he turns and runs back the way you'd came. You wave until he stops looking. Again you notice how cute his hair looks. You're eyes moved to his back. You can see through the white material of his shirt. There are more swirling lines of black. And aside from that you notice how well built he is.

You'd blushed at the childish teenage thoughts in your head and slammed the door shut. You ignored the annoyed shouts of your sister and ran to your room and threw the forgotten-till-now book onto your desk and you threw yourself on your bed, willing sleep to come fast so you could see him again soon.

Time passes faster when you're unaware of it.

* * *

The next time you see him is actually the very next day. You'd only been on a walk, thinking about him of course. You hadn't known what was happening to you. You'd only met twice. And he still seemed to perfect and to beautiful to be true.

You bumped into someone. You feel hands on your shoulders, firm but soft, keeping you from falling. You look up.

"Ziel." You'd whispered. The way you stood, he blocked out the sun, it glinted across his pale violet locks of hair and made the right side of his face show more defiantly. He was smiling down at you. He was so perfect.

"We have to stop meeting like this." He'd teased you lightheartedly.

This had been your third meeting, and the second time you'd met by bumping into him. You blushed hard and jumped back, stumbling out apologies like before. Again he waved them off, simply making sure you were okay.

"It's nice to see you again." You'd mumbled.

"You mean again, again." He laughed at his own joke.

You laugh with him because not only is he good natured and kind, he knows just how to make you laugh. Not with the joke itself but rather with the situation. As silly as his joke is.

"That one was kinda sad." He'd mumbled and scratched the back of his neck as if he was nervous.

"No." You spoke before you knew what you'd wanted to really say. "I thought it was funny." You blush and look at your feet.

He'd chuckled, dropping the subject. Every time you meet he always seems to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. "So where are you headed Meh-Meh?"

"Um," You looked back the way you'd came and looked at him. Then you leaned and looked past him. "Forward I think."

He laughed at your unintentional joke. You watch as brushes his fingers through his hair, pulling it back behind his ear. You note that every strand is pulled back away from his face. You note how his jacket is white with black trim. You not, on a more embarrassed level how plain you must look compared to him and his simple elegance.

You'd placed your right arm across yourself, your hand holding your elbow. He looks at you and blinks before smiling. It was as if he'd known what you were doing. He stepped aside. "Lead the way." It doesn't sound like an order, or a plead, or a whine.

It simply sounded as if he was finding pleasure simply by being in your company. Maybe he was. But,…how could a creature so perfect even look at you as if you were interesting?

You'd glanced sidelong at him as you began to walk. You notice how graceful he is. How he seems to glide as if he's not even lifting his feet. How could one with such grace and elegance have any interest in you?

You with your black jackets with the white arrows that went up the back and your plain black pants and your bare feet.

He looks over at you curiously. You blush because you've been caught gawking at him. He chuckles kindly and continues walking with you.

* * *

You're still strangers. You both know that. Or you were sure he was aware of it.

You'd sat under a cherry blossom tree. Your back to the bark. He sat near you yet far away. There's a cry in your soul that calls for him to move closer, even just an inch. You still don't understand your need for closeness to him. You're not even sure you want to.

"So what do you like to do?" He smiled at her, he was always smiling. It made her feel at ease.

"Study and draw." You'd answered, feeling slightly like what those mean boys at school had called you. A 'bookworm'.

He'd nodded and looked up at the sky. "That's nice. I'd like to see some of your drawings sometime."

"What about you?" You wanted to keep talking to him.

"I like a lot of things." He grinned. "I like meeting people and reading and art works. I like thinking too but not about hard stuff."

"You like meeting people?" You were fascinated by that because you'd never heard it.

"Oh yeah." He'd looked at you, his eyes dancing with laughter. "I've never met a person I didn't like."

"But,…some people are awful." You knew you'd been right. Some people were just downright rotten to the marrow of their bones.

"Yes, but I believe there are reasons for that. I never judge by what I see or first conversations." He'd shrugged. "I just like people. Everyone is interesting to me."

You'd been confused but you moved on. You didn't want to leave. You didn't want him to leave.

You'd talked for hours. The sun low in the sky, trying to fight off sleep.

You remember the moon rising and you remember finally having to go home.

He'd stood first and quickly yet gracefully helped you to your feet. He was simply to perfect.

You remember the wind blowing. You remember his pale hair moving out of its perfect slicked back style and dancing around his face.

You remember the swell in your heart and the breath caught in your throat as the blossoms danced and swirled around you both.

In your mind and possibly in his it had been a perfect moment.

That was the moment you realized that even only after meeting him twice before and meeting him now and getting to know him better,…you realize you love him. Without thinking you press yourself forward. Your hands press into his chest and you bury yourself in his shirt and his scent. You feel him wrap his arms around you and his cheek against your own as he pulled you closer.

You remember never feeling more safe and more secure. You wrap yourself in him and you feel him do the same.

The world had never mattered to you less than in that moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a small few chapter story I had the idea of. It's nothing major. It could only have like 5 chapters. I don't want it to be all that long :p**

**I own nothiiing! **

**Okay! In this chapter you finally get why I called this story what I did. Enjoy! Another chapter or two and I'll be done :p If you're wondering how I could right a 'straight' story as men make me slightly uncomfortable when I view them in a romantic way...I'm imagining Ziel as a female XD**

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Review please!**

* * *

You remember walking with him more. Talking with him more. You even took him home with you one night to meet your sister, why ever the hell you did that.

"She may try and kill you." You'd warned, mostly serious. Your sister always tried to get what you loved.

He'd laughed, his hair tied into a small tail at the back of his head. "Don't worry about that. I'm pretty hard to get." He knew your meaning. Someway or another.

You wrapped your arms around his right arm and slid your hand into his. He smiled down at your affection. "Not for me."

He chuckled. "You're different. We both know that." And he was right. Where other girls in this age were focusing more on their looks rather than their brains, you focus solely on the brain. And he loves that about you. He'd told you so.

You remember a month ago, it was at a café. You sat across from him, you'd dressed in a different color besides black. It was a dark royal blue. You'd even worn shoes. Your feet had felt uncomfortable. He'd smiled and took your hand in his. He told you that you didn't have to try and look different or try and blend in. That he loved you just the way you were. You'd blushed and smiled, looking down at the plain white table under your hands.

So now here you are, walking to your house, holding onto the one you love in your bare feet and black hoodie with your plain black pants. And him in his soft pink shirt that you thought made him look even cuter with his blue pants and his nice boots.

You enter your house, calling for your sister. She appears from the kitchen. "So this is the mystery mad my little sister has gone on and on about." She'd snipped.

He laughed. "That's me. It's nice to meet you." He'd offered his hand to her and she took it. Jealousy sting your heart as your sister gives him a look of want when he speaks to her. You calm yourself when he pulls away and look back at you, offering his arm. You took it immediately and glared at your sister. She glared back.

"Dinner is almost ready." She'd said, turning and walking back to where she'd emerged from.

He looks down at you. "She seems nice."

You glanced up at him with a pout on your lips. "She wants to eat your soul."

He'd laughed softly and reached his left hand across his chest to run his fingers through your hair. "Does she? What makes you say that?"

You take his hand in yours. "She wants to eat the soul of every good look male."

He'd hummed and you looked up at him, he was grinning. "Sounds kinda kinky now I'm thinking about it."

You let go of his hand and smack his chest. He laughed louder and takes your stinging hand into his larger ones and kisses the sore area. You blush as the palm and pads of your fingers seem to cool as soon as his lips touch the flesh their. He raises his head and looks you in the eye. You stare back.

"Don't worry. There's no one or anything in the whole world I want more than you." He didn't glance away when he'd said it. He didn't grin, didn't smirk, didn't make a joke after he'd said it. And you feel all the blood in your body rush to your face and heart as both flood with emotion. You feel tears sting the edges of your vision and his blue/grey eyes become panicked and worried.

You step forward and just like the first time you press yourself into him. He hugs you tight. You know everything he means by that statement is true.

"Dinner!" Your sister calls and you glare at her in the doorway as she rolls her eyes at your emotional moment.

"I am pretty hungry." He looked down at you to make sure you were okay. You always hated showing emotions like these in front of your older sister, who always teased you about being weak. You nod and he leads you into the kitchen.

* * *

After you ate you headed up to your room to bring something you'd wanted to show him. You'd left him with your heartless beast of a sister who hid it all behind her cool calm façade.

When you return with a rainbow colored shell you find your sister on him and him with his hands on her arms. You don't know if he was pushing or pulling her, you didn't want to know.

Ignoring the words in your mind you'd heard him say to you, you turn and run. You dropped the shell to the floor as you go. You ignore his shouts and calls and the clatter of chairs.

You run out of your house and race down a random street that you don't know the end to. Because your eyes were to clouded by tears on that warm balmy evening. You stumble several times and almost fall more than once.

You finally stop when the city reaches the end of itself, your house having already been near the edge. You collapse somewhere in the tall grass. You're not sure where. You swipe at the tears on your face but its no use as they keep on coming.

You'd lost track of time as you sat their crying. You'd never underestimated your sister's ability to take everything from you. This was another thing to check onto the list. Although it was quite larger. You loved that man. Sure there had been crushes when you were younger, but you really loved Ziel. With his easy charm and beautiful looks.

You continued to cry as you thought of all the things you loved about him. You don't remember if you'd been there for a few minutes or a few hours.

You suddenly heard a rustle behind you. You'd looked up through yours tears. And you didn't have to see clearly through your pain to know it was him. You could see the pale violet curl of his hair glimmer in the fading pink of the sunset. "Meh-Meh." He whispered, moving closer.

He'd moved to touch you, you saw it as your tears fell and let your vision clear. You swipe at him and he pulls back. "Please. You've got it wrong." He's frowning at you, his eyes pleading for you to believe him. "She asked what the nature of our relationship was. I told her. She asked if I had any doubts. I told her no." He knelt before you, on his knees. "She asked if I looked at other women the way I looked at you. I told her no."

You watched him carefully. Your temples began to throb with a migraine from all the crying you'd done.

"That's when she questioned me and did what you walked in on. That's as far as it went. I pushed her away." His eyes still pleaded for you to trust his words. He raised his hands and gently took your face between them, this time you don't push him away. "I would never do that to you Medusa. You have to believe me."

It had been two months. And now you were here. You'd never even kissed. And here you were crying because of your sister's trickery.

You could never have stayed mad at him. You move through the extra blades of grass separating you and again that night you press yourself into him. He ran his finger through your hair and your migraine fades from existence.

He'd always seemed to cure every bothersome thing going wrong with your body as soon as he touched you. "Are you an angel?" You'd only been half teasing as you take his closed hand in yours. He opening it to reveal the rainbow shell. It was the one you dropped, you notice a chip in it. You closed his hand again and pressed his fist gently to his chest, showing it was for him.

He looked you in the eye at your statement. "You can't tell." He whispered.

You'd blinked. "You mean…" You were confused for a moment.

"I am. But you can't tell. I could get in trouble if a lot of people find out."

You felt your heart swell. He was telling you, finally. You knew he'd been to good to be true. Now you knew why it seemed that way. Suddenly you'd felt inadequate.

He chuckled and stood, graceful as ever, offering his hand to you. You took it and let him lead you back into the city.

You're at his home finally. And it feels like a home. With its sweet smell of spices in the air and the fireplace alive with flames that tinted the walls orange.

You're both laying on the couch. He tells you everything. Why he's there, his real home, his friends. Finally your curiosity got the better of you.

"Your name." You'd whispered. You were laying across him, your forefinger of your right hand tracing along the black swirling lines you always spotted under his shirt.

"Raziel." He'd whispered back.

You remember your eyes growing wide. You'd read that name before. 'The keep of secrets'. He was powerful. "What secrets do you keep exactly?" You looked up at him curiously.

"Everything." He'd answered honestly. "Although I can't share what exactly I keep locked away, I can tell it is indeed everything.

You sat up, legs squeezing his waist gently, your hands on his abdomen. "Why choose me?" You were afraid to hear an answer along the lines of temporary loneliness.

"You stuck out. Like me. You're honest and kind. You use your head unlike most people these days. Like I told you, there's no one or anything I want more than you." He smiled softly up at you.

"Not even heaven and God?" You never believed there was a God, but you did believe in Angels. A part of you thought that only the Angel's ruled. A court of them. They agreed on what to do. That's how you'd imagined it.

"No, not even heaven. And God? There is an energy above us, but we do not label it. It does not judge. So your idea is not that far off. Each higher up Angel does a specific thing. Gabrielle does carry messages and Michael is the commander of our army and he does quite a good job." He explained.

It was so much to take in but you loved it. You loved finally having an answer. You loved that an Angel, one as important as he was had chosen you. Plain old you.

You'd ducked your head and kissed his forehead. "Thank you." You kissed both his cheeks. "Thank you." And right before you pressed your lips to his you whispered it again. "Thank you."

That night had been your very first kiss. You remember the night after that being your very first time.


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothiiing! But Lloyd and Genis and Kratos and Raziel. And I barely own Genis and Kratos and Raziel cuz there all people ideas I got elsewhere! And I made Gabe an ass, because in almost everything you see about him he always seems so jealous.**

**Almost done. **

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Review please!**

* * *

It's a year later. You'd moved into his home. With it's large doorways and king sized beds in it's five roomed grander.

__

You remember the first night you actually moved in, Raziel and his friend, who you now knew as Genis had moved your few belonging from your sister's house.

You'd had to sit on the couch and watch because Raziel didn't want you to get hurt. You sat with a cup of tea and called words of encouragement. Raziel just laughed as he carried the boxes along into the structure. You remember smiling wider as you spot the rainbow shell hanging on a thread around his neck.

When everything was moved, a total of eight boxes, most filled with books, a dresser and a case to hold the books were all settled into the living room. Genis had waved goodnight and walked down a hall to his room. Raziel led you to your new room.

His room.

You'd jumped onto the large bed and curled up and tangled yourself in the sheets. He'd laughed at you, wondering why you were so excited as you've seen his room a few times before now.

"Yes but now it's my room too." You'd clarified. He slipped onto the bed beside you and you untangled yourself just so you could cuddle into his warmth.

And then you're sitting on the couch three months after you'd moved in, reading a graphic book you thought looked interesting. You're in one of those maternity tops. It was a golden color. With black shorts than ended just above the knee.

You hardly needed that top just then. You were only three months along. But still you were showing more than normal, because you were having twins.

His twins.

He walked into the room and sat just so he wouldn't crush your toes. You peer over at him, your back against the arm of the couch. You smiled at him as her rested his arms on your knees and his head on his wrists.

"What are you reading?" He'd asked curiously and you went back to the book.

"A novel. A graphic one."

"You mean like bad violence."

You'd chuckled. "No, like pictures."

"Cool." He grinned. And he sat there and watched you read, not bothering to say another word. It soothed you to know you didn't need words in each others company.

After a while, when you were almost done with the book you looked up again. You smiled. He was fast asleep, his head tilted to the right, mouth open slightly, his hair as smooth as ever despite his cute sleeping face and the small drop of drool about to escape his lips.

You brushed your fingers through his hair and then went back to your book. A small thought in the back of your mind. That you were having an angel's children.

Half holy creatures. Or maybe all holy, because he had chosen you after all. Maybe that meant you were holy too.

You'd hoped they were as beautiful as he was.

* * *

You remember when you were eight months along. Everything as perfect as ever. And sure by then you'd had your bad days. You'd snapped and yelled at him and Genis.

He would just smile at you and agree with anything mean you had to say. And you'd both known they weren't true, but hearing him agree had always made you feel better and you'd known that.

Genis would get slightly more upset. But he would just glance at you, nod, then ignore the rest of your rant about how quiet and bull headed he was. With his shocked hair and silly cowlick. Every time you'd mentioned that he would laugh though.

You were lounging on the couch, reading a book about hunters that killed demons who worked in the name of God. Raziel walked in after you were five chapters in. He looked upset. You'd sat up and curled your legs in. "What's wrong?" You'd set the book down and focused solely on him.

He ran his fingers through his hair, making one side sleeked back and the other free to slip about his face.

You remember being scared to hear his answer now.

"There's a problem." He'd muttered. "With the council. My little brother says that there's talk about calling Genis and I back."

You'd been to shocked to respond.

"They may or may not. Michael says he's doing all he can to having resort to me coming back. That if he can they'll just bring Genis back. Nothing is certain now." He looked at you with worry.

"You can't go." You'd whispered. Heart thundering in your chest. You were terrified.

He was pulling you into a hug and pressing kisses to your temple in an instant. You calmed quickly. "No, no. Like I said, nothing is certain. Even if they did call me back that could take months or years for them to do that." You curled into him. "I'm just worried that they will call me back for something silly. But I don't want you to worry. It won't do you any good in your state."

You'd nodded, content in your temporary peace.

* * *

And a month and a half later, the twins were there.

Both boys, but hardly identical.

The older one by about a minute, was soft. He looked like Raziel but at the same time he didn't. He had soft pink hair and Raziel's eyes. Raziel had, had a feeling he would be timid, but brave in his own way. You'd chosen his name. Crona. Because part of you wanted a little girl.

The other had hair like you own, but with a soft pinkish/purple tint in the light. He had your eyes too. His face looked like your own too at a much younger age. Raziel had been certain he would be courageous and brave. He had chosen the younger son's name. Lloyd. Because he'd wanted a little boy.

You'd taken to Crona right away. He was quiet and simple. Just like you. Raziel had taken to Lloyd. He was sweet and happy. Just like his father. And the boys had taken to each other.

You remember sitting behind the couch in the living room with them. The space on the blanket covered with soft pillows. It had been three months since they were born. Lloyd was already crawling around, slowly but surely and with excitement. Crona was happy to sit back and just watch. Although when Lloyd would crawl over to him he would always giggle and blow little spit bubbles.

You remember holding Crona in your lap as his little brother clapped at him as he made silly sounds with his tongue and teeth.

Raziel would always stare at you with the deepest affection in his eyes at times like these. You would blush and look away, just like you had all that time that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Lloyd took after you, you'd noticed after a time. He would spot a pretty looking book and pat it with his tiny hands and look up at you while you sat on the couch with his father, his brother between you. You would pull him onto your lap and Crona would crawl up next to him and you'd read to them both.

Raziel had laughed about that one night. You'd looked up at him curiously.

"What's so funny?"

"Crona and Lloyd. They've got your brains. But something tells me Lloyd will really take after you."

"What do you mean?"

He'd grinned. "Well,…Crona is the lay-back and watch type. He's an analyzer, like you I might add. But Lloyd,…something tells me he'll be a walking brain. Again, like you I might add." He'd laughed.

You'd blushed at his words. Your babies had taken after you.

You feel at that moment that you must be slightly holy.

* * *

Crona and Lloyd were almost a year old. You were reading to them when Raziel came in. Something seemed off but you ignored it.

Lloyd had crowed in delight at seeing his father. "Baba! Baba!" He'd waved his slightly chubby arms. Raziel smiled and scooped him up into his arms.

"It's nice out, you should take him for a walk." You suggested as you patted Crona's head when he's crawled into your lap.

Raziel looked unsure. You'd noticed him becoming more distant over the last week. You remember his worry about being called away. "Yeah, I suppose that'd be nice." he cuddle his youngest son to his chest and nodded, leaning forward to kiss you and nuzzle Crona's soft pink mop of hair. "We'll be back soon."

You smile at your oldest as he waves to his father and little brother. "Bye bye!" You hugged him back to your chest and picked the colorful picture book back up and continued to read it to him.

Later, in the night, when you lay Crona to sleep and lay awake out of your mind with worry about your lover and your smallest baby, you hear a small bang sound from the floor below then a whimper.

You were out of your bed faster than light and padded down the hall, you passed Crona's door and opened it. He's sleeping quietly in his crib. The one beside his is still empty. You worry more when you hear voices. You'd closed the door quietly and hurried downstairs.

You see Raziel, tears streaking his perfect face. Genis is standing near the door with a whimpering Lloyd squirming to be free in his arms. Lloyd spotted you and gave a cry, reaching his tiny hands out for you.

With them are two other men. One with curling blonde hair with cruel good looks and a red head with his hair slid to a funny angle. They looked up at you, but you ignore them. You even ignore Raziel as you moved faster than you'd thought possible to take Lloyd from Genis. But right before you do, the golden haired man with cruelty on his face steps between you.

You'd glared up at him. And then a hand is on his shoulder. You looked to see Raziel. "Don't act like that around her. Around them. I'll do whatever you ask but you swore you'd leave them alone. I don't care where you stand in Heaven now Gabe,…" He warned, a death threat not needing to leave his lips.

The blonde man. Gabe, who you'd assumed to be Gabrielle. He smirked down at you. His handsome face so ugly. "Yeah, yeah. We've already gartered the little brat boy." He sneered.

"Ziel, what's he talking about?" You turned to your lover who took your hands and moved you gently away. "I have to go. Gabrielle got in good with the Guardian angels and then with some of the lower Archangels, made it seem like I want to start a war with them. That I'm a traitor." He whispered.

But he wasn't. He'd been there with you and your babies. You both knew that and he didn't rush to say what you both knew.

"Medusa my hands are tied here." He whimpered, taking your face between his hands. "They threatened to hurt you and the twins. I don't trust Gabe to any extent. He does what he'll say."

"You can't…," You felt tears sting your eyes for the first time since you'd had the twins. "You can't leave us."

"Meh-Meh, I'd rather be away and know your safe than to live a life and know you're gone." He whispered.

"Okay, enough of this. Kratos, get him will you. Genis shut that kids mouth. We're leaving." Gabrielle didn't shout, but he did raise his voice slightly.

The redhead, Kratos, grabbed Raziel's shoulder and tugged it gently. "Come on. Better safe than sorry." He'd whispered the last part.

Genis and Gabrielle were out the door, you'd heard Lloyd begin to scream. "Mama! Baba!" He cried.

Raziel was tugged away from you and shoved to the door, it had looked to you then as if he was playing rough because Gabrielle's cruel eyes had been on him. You'd bolted to the door but Gabrielle held you back.

"You're a mother. If you know what's good for your boy you'll stay put." He'd threatened you. You glared at him as you felt something inside your chest twist and grind and tear.

He laughed at you as he turned his back and walked after the small group.

You could still hear your baby crying.

"Mama! My mama!"

And then nothing. You were defeated and alone, besides Crona. You slid to the floor, soaking in everything that happened. Tears leaked from your eyes. You scrapped your fingers against the stone just outside your door. The sharp uneven edges dug into your flesh and left small cuts there.

"God, damn you." You'd whispered harshly, glaring up at the sky, your teeth gnashing into your bottom lip. When did things get this bad. Hadn't your life been perfect only hours ago?

"God, damn you!"


	6. Chapter 6

**COMPLETE! XDD**

**Review please!**

* * *

You can't remember now. Where you went mad. You think it's when Lloyd was crying for you, but you can't remember. You can't remember when you hurt Crona so much.

You can't recall. But it feels so good to forget and just do the worst things your mind can come up with. To not think.

Because that way you don't have to feel the guilt. You don't have to feel the pain. You don't have to mind the cries of your oldest child or the look of fear in his eyes. He could have been so much stronger than this. If only you hadn't damaged him so.

You remember a time when he must have only been four. It was a rare lapse of courage for him. He glared up at you, after he'd killed that baby dragon and his mind returned. You were surprised to see the look of hateful disgust in his eyes that looked so much like his father's.

"What?" You'd sneered at him.

He continued to glare. He reminded you so much of his father, whose face was already starting to fade from your mind. You wanted to claw those eyes out of his head. "What?" You'd asked again. Slightly annoyed yet proud he was standing up to you.

"Why are you such a monster?" He'd asked, crystal clear. And with his face set in such a way and his hands curled into fists, for a moment you did think it was his father. But then you remember who it is.

"Go to your room." You didn't answer his question.

"Baba probably hates you, you know." He'd called after you. You swung around, fist ready to beat him half to death, but you heard the patter of his shoes as he ran away.

"How dare he,…" You'd mumbled. But you wondered if he was right. Did Raziel hate you? He would never be able to love you, you imagined. Not now.

But still…he was why you were doing this. All of this.

You would never admit it to even yourself but deep inside your blackened soul you wanted him to come back. Because no matter how _good _you were you knew that would only make the angels stay away. But if you were the worst you could be…they would have to notice.

And _he _would have to come back. It didn't matter if he loved you or not anymore. Just as long as he saw what he'd done to you. What really drove you mad is that he didn't even fight. And when you tried,…everything you cared about was broken.

You should have known it wouldn't last. But that was quite a few years ago. You'd been lost in your illusion of love.

So lost.

And now here you are. Almost dead because of that girl Maka. You think of everything you've ever said recently.

How when you were found out at the school and fought Stein. You'd told him you loved him and he was a man after your own heart. That wasn't entirely true though. You liked him, that was true. Because he was so like you now. But you knew in your black heart of hearts that every part of you still belong to Raziel.

He'd been your first everything after all.

You'd said such hurtful and cruel things to Crona. Nothing you'd ever said to him could have been farther from the truth. You wanted him to do well, and you were proud he tried so hard. But being who you are now,…you could never tell him so.

Or maybe.

You looked over your shoulder. He was dying. Because of you. Because you wanted his father to see you, both of you. To throw it in his face that all of this was his fault.

Even though it wasn't.

You were just so angry he hadn't even tried. That was it.

"Crona." You called to him, you were only an image now. No solid form to take.

"Get away from him!" That girl, Maka, called at you. You ignored her.

You knelt beside your oldest and he looked up at you with hazy fading eyes, a ting of fear. You smile at him. A face from your past. "You'll be fine." You whispered to him.

"…I will?"

"Of course. You're your father's son after all." You tried to ignore the sting in your eyes. You'd been so cruel, and only now do you realize how sickeningly selfish you've been.

How tragic.

Like Raziel in the rain.

"My…father?" He'd only be awake a little while longer. And you'd only be able to stay just as long as you are now. You can feel your soul tearing at the seems. You're using the rest of your strength, what little there is, to keep yourself sewn together for this.

"You remind me of him you know. The way you can be so selfless."

He smiles then, at you, you can't remember the last time either of you have smiled at each other and meant it. When he was a baby maybe. "You remind me of someone I knew before." He mumbled. "A long time ago." His eyes slid shut but you knew he was only sleeping and that he'd be okay.

And you left.

...

But not really. You stood at the paths between the afterlife and this one. He was there.

He was looking outward between the worlds. You head to the afterlife. But his words reach your ears and you stop. "Where are you going?" His voice is soft, quiet. So odd from all the noise your life has been since you started in your new ways.

"...This is the end right?"

He chuckled and you looked over at him. He was looking at you now. "It's never the end. At least not yet. Your second chance is waiting." He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder the way you'd came.

"I deserve that?"

He chuckled again. "Everyone does. You can't get another chance with Crona as a mother. But you can still be in his life."

You smiled and nodded. It wasn't what you'd hoped for, but it was something. A chance to fix the guilt that consumed your whole soul.

"You weren't wrong in what you did Medusa. Being cruel to Crona was something that's...well...it wasn't right. But you went mad with loss and pain. It happens to the best." He shrugged and smiled. You nodded and started to head back. His voice reached you again. "Any regrets?"

You give a rueful smile. "Not seeing Lloyd and not being a good parent to Crona."

He hummed. "Good luck this time."

You wanted to ask. You needed something more. "Are you coming back?"

"In time. Your new life is starting from the start. When you reach a certain age you'll remember all this. That's when you'll see us again."

You smiled sadly. It wasn't what you wanted. But it was something. You'd waited this long. You could wait a while longer.

Stepping through the door you'd come from, everything faded behind you. This was your second chance. You couldn't waste it.

He'd given you a second chance.

That angel of yours.


End file.
